Wife Wants Children But Husband Says No!

If a woman wants to have a child after marriage, but her husband doesn’t want to, what should she do?

Well, first and foremost, remember Islam is about rights and limits, there's the balance in Islam. We don’t say everybody has got unconditional rights. You have rights but you're limited.

But the first and foremost right in Islam without limit is Allah’s right to be worshipped alone without any partners. Allah has the first right in Islam. Nothing supersedes that.

Number two: the Prophet's right on us that we follow him.

Then after that are the rights of the parents, their rights must never ever be compromised, except when they want you to do something that is not in Islam.

Then after that, brothers, your wife has rights on you, and you have rights on her.

When you get married, it is to have children, that is what is Islam teaching you. You get married for what? To have children, that's why you get married. It’s her right to have children and it’s your right to have children. If a woman says “well I want to wait,” she doesn’t have that right. Nor does the man have the right to say “I don’t want to have any children right now,” because that’s from Allah. Maybe Allah is not going to give you children anyway, you don’t know that. But you don't take somebody else’s rights away from them. If both of you don’t want to have any children right now, that might be a different story. But still, it’s going to be up to Allah.

There is an example about this in the life of the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him). Somebody came to him and was talking about some form of contraceptive operation that they used to do, which basically was that the man would not finish, it would stop and they thought this would keep the woman from getting pregnant. So when they talked to the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) about it, he said it doesn’t matter; if she is going to get pregnant she is going to get pregnant, it’s going to happen and that’s from Allah. Some of the scholars took that to mean that it wasn’t a problem and some say that it is a problem. You can play that game until the cows come home. But I’m telling you the wife has the right to have children if she wants to have children, who are you to stop her? That’s why you got married!

And if it’s about finance, why did you forget what Allah said in the Quran? That you don’t kill your children because you are afraid that they are going to be in competition for your food. Is that true or false?

And by the way, some birth control kills the little tiny baby just as it's conceived. Did you know that? Fries them and burns them up, I don’t know if you knew that or not, think about this before you get into those kinds of games! You are here to have worship for Allah. Allah said that you are here just for worshipping Allah on His terms. You are not here trying to build your Jannah. “I want more money, I want more power, and I want a bigger house.” Who are you? Why did you forget that this is all waiting for you in Jannah? But when you play these games, you may be sacrificing that or delaying it. You know it's a long time in hell before you get out to go to Jannah. I don’t want to play that game.

I know you didn’t want to hear that one but I have to tell you that's how it is.

Sheikh Yusuf Estes