Boy Friends - Girl Friends: Why Marriage?
How does Islam look at marriage as opposed to just living together? Why does Islam oppose having boy-friends and girl-friends?
Islam is all about "Rights". Everyone has rights; men, women, parents, children and of course, Allah and His prophet, peace be upon him, have "Rights" as well.
The opposite of giving people their "Rights" (Haqq), is "Oppression" or "wrong-doing" (Dthulm). And Allah says again and again in Quran, "Verily, Allah does not love the 'Dthalimun" (wrong doers).
It is the Right of Allah to be obeyed by His worshippers. It is the Right of the prophet, peace be upon him, to be obeyed by his followers, it is the "Right of the Quran" to be read, understood and followed -- These are basic "rights" of the most important kind in Islam.
When we come to "Human Right" in Islam, we discover it is not just "one-sided" as in many cases of human-made laws and rules.
It is not acceptable in Islam for one person to achieve gratification at the expense and loss to others.
When we apply to this rule to "marriage" we find the man does have Rights by contract of marriage, as does the woman. But that is not where it stops. The children have Rights as well. They have the Right to be raised by their parents and the Right to grow up with them, the Right to be cared by them and the parents have the Right in their old age to be cared by their children and then when they die the children have the Right to inherit from them when they pass away.
Marriage in Islam seeks to protect these and other important Rights.
Boy-friend, Girl-friend relationships deprive people of the their rights and cause serious "Dthulm" to many people. Loss of virginity in such relationships immediately affect any future relationship in marriage. Suspicion, doubt and worry caused by finding out or doubting the fidelity of a person's spouse can linger throughout the entire marriage.
Not knowing who the parents of a child are, causes immediate loss of rights. Children born out of wedlock have problems in society and are often mistreated and deprived of their rights. Inheritance is only one of many rights lost to the children of "relationships" without marriage.
A father of a child may not even know he has a child or may doubt if the child is his. Day time TV shows attract large audiences by putting these kinds of parental questions forward to people on their shows and then exposing the "true father" of a child. By the way, these types of programs are very Haram due to exposing people's mistakes and making light of serious sins and wrong-doing.
Grandparents are deprived of knowing about their own little grandchildren or often have to go to court to even see them. The children very often never find out or have a chance to meet their grandparents.
Diseases are another very common problem with these types of "relationships".
The list goes on and on..
Let us consider this important topic as discussed by our scholars and teachers and as we read, we'll ask Allah to help us discover some of the beauties of Islam regarding "Zawaj" (marriage)...
Sheikh Yusuf Estes